OK, SELF.

One of the things that I totally suck at is acknowledging when I feel sad, so that the feeling can pass on its own; instead of me fighting like hell against it and only making it worse. So, I’m acknowledging it. I’m a little sad today.

Today is an old friend’s birthday. I’m not sure if he is aware that it’s his birthday. He had a terrible accident last year and suffered severe brain damage. I feel so guilty that I haven’t visited him at all in the nursing home, though I’m sure he doesn’t remember me to be disappointed in me. I just can’t seem to muster up the courage to see for myself that my friend that I’ve known since what seems like forever ago, is just gone. No warning, no goodbye.

He’s not the first friend that I’ve had that’s done this. I feel guilty for being angry with them, but I am. I wish I could shake them all, yell and punch them. For them thinking that they can just check out early and leave everybody else here. Then I feel angry at myself for being angry. I guess I just wish I’d been given the chance to say goodbye, and it bothers me. It’s especially awkward in this situation, because how do you say goodbye to somebody when their body is still there but the thing that makes them, them is gone? I think that’s mostly why I haven’t visited. I don’t want to cry in front of this new person that took over my friend’s body and upset or freak him out. How do you say hello without saying goodbye?

I sure as fuck do not know.

So, for right now, I’m sad, and that’s okay. I just hope I can turn it back on for my nieces for pre-Christmas dinner this evening.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT HAPPINESS

The biggest misconception about happiness is that we can outsource it – that something external is going to make us happy. Happiness is NOT a constant state. As humans, we experience and grow through a variety of emotions. The expectation that we should be happy all the time will leave anyone with an expectation hangover. What we can be is grateful.

Beware of destination addiction: the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job or with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are

 

 

Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is life itself, it is an insane way to live.

 

THE GOSPEL OF FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT

In the world of social media, we are constantly in front of other people. There’s a lot of pressure to always be “on,” which breeds a pressure to perform. In response to this, a “fake it till you make it” gospel has formed.

I get the sentiment. Sometimes if we don’t “fake it” we’ll never have the confidence to create anything. But this message is incomplete and has some dangers to it. If we aren’t careful, adopting this gospel can hurt us and even our messages.

We all project an image of ourselves to the world. This image is generally made up of half-truths, qualities we value and want to be true but sometimes aren’t. Or at least, they aren’t always fully developed yet.

Real connection happens when, and only when, you’re completely honest.

This happens to a lot of us, especially in the world of social media. We’re constantly in front of people, so we often feel the need to put on a show. And in so doing, we tend to hide the weaker parts of our personality, the parts we assume nobody wants to see.
The irony is our weaknesses are what make our messages believable, because they are what make us as storytellers and communicators relatable and reliable. Honing your craft, developing your skill — these things don’t come easily. If you’re focused on faking it until you make it, you’re using time and energy for that, and have less real estate for learning and growth.

Don’t lose your message because you’re concerned with developing a persona.

The world needs what you have to say, but only if you can get over yourself — and your need to be recognized — and just say it. So please get started sharing your message with the world. But whatever you do, don’t fake it.